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"I am a motivational speaker"


As a substitute teacher, I get the privilege of going to a new classroom every day of the week. And when I do, I'm always quick to check out the decorations as I sit and wait for the kids to arrive. In elementary school there is often student work on the walls, number lines, the alphabet, etc. But in high school, it's a whole different ball game. In high school, there's usually one of two things: 1) nothing, or 2) those tacky motivational posters. You know the ones - they have pictures of eagles soaring over mountains and underneath they have the word 'Leadership', and then some cheesy quote about spreading your wings. Or ones like this:

When we all work together, we all win together."

Right. You've seen them. Generally I would have no problem with these, should they actually move someone to action, which they don't. On the contrary, I believe that most of the time they incite more joke-telling than motivation. (I'm not the only one who takes pictures of them and sends them to my husband for a laugh.) AND if it's joke-telling that we're going for, why not visit despair, inc. to find MUCH better ones. Like this:

Or this:

Or my personal favorite:

Amazing. Seriously, there are so many hilarious demotivational posters on this site that I was tempted to put all of them on my blog, which would have made this one little post about a mile long. I only spared you now so that you could set aside time to go glance at their site and have a good laugh later today. I mean, how could you not laugh at this quote from their founder:

MOTIVATION. Psychology tells us that motivation- true, lasting motivation- can only come from within. Common sense tells us it can't be manufactured or productized. So how is it that a multi-billion dollar industry thrives through the sale of motivational commodities and services? Because, in our world of instant gratification, people desperately want to believe that there are simple solutions to complex problems. And when desperation has disposable income, market opportunities abound.
AT DESPAIR, INC., we believe motivational products create unrealistic expectations, raising hopes only to dash them. That's why we created our soul-crushingly depressing Demotivators® designs, so you can skip the delusions that motivational products induce and head straight for the disappointments that follow!

That's what I call a business model. Pure genius. Now, if you're looking for something more than a poster, don't worry. They've got mugs. And notecards. And lots more rediculous merchandise (that I have seriously considered purchasing).

I leave you with the SNL sketch that just might have started it all...or, at very least, provided this post with a title. (disclaimer: this sketch makes reference to marijuana, which i do not condone under any circumstance. if such references offend you, please don't watch.)

  1. Blogger Pam Pensiero said:

    Thanks for the laugh! You're the best!

  1. Blogger Casey said:


    there is a lady here at work that has a motivational poster AS HER DESKTOP BACKGROUND...i'm sure she is constantly being motivated as she works

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